A boy & a girl were playing hide-seek.
She sent a SMS:
If you find me, you can marry me.
If you can`t, I`m hidden in d shed.

Marriages may be made in Heaven.
But.. 
The maintenance charges have to be paid on Earth!

Dr. Santa and Engineer Banta loved same girl.
Er. Banta started giving an apple 2 d girl everyday.
Dr. Santa: Why?
Er. Banta: An apple a day keeps d doctor away!

Santa: When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job.
Banta: Did you?
Santa: No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed.

Santa: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: May I go to the bathroom?
Santa: But I asked first!

Judge: Why r u arrested?
Santa: For shopping early.
Judge: Well, thats not a crime, anyway how early were u shopping?
Santa: Before opening the shop.

Teacher: What do you mean by terrorist?
Student: Terrorist is a tourist who comes from other country to celebrate Diwali in our country.

Sign at a woman`s shoe shop.
`Ten percent discount on shoes purchased within ten minutes.`

Judge: Do u have a lawyer?
Prisoner: No.
Judge: Don`t u need one?
Prisoner: No, Sir. I don`t need one. I am going 2 tell d truth.

Banta: My wife thinks I am perfect.
Santa: Yes I heard her say so.
Banta: When?
Santa: The time she called you an idiot.